Dženana Vucic reading ‘To Learn a M/other Tongue’

l learn sustenance first:
trešnja, jabuka, mlijeko, hljeb
learn to say nisam gladna before
I can say that I am, learn that I
must leave food uneaten since
empty plates are wont to be
filled with samo malo još 

Then comes movement
(dolazimo, idemo, hajmo mi,
moja ćerka je došla)
and the whiplash of names,
which sound familiar but are not,
and which suggest directionality
or, at the very least, direction

In the stillness that follows
I learn to call things—stol, drvo
list, cvijet, nebo. My father is a
translator, he touches objects
and turns them to sound, stretches
his arms across naše selo and
renders the world legible 

Speaking the self comes slow,
and without intuition. I am not
cold, ali hladno je. To know the
difference I must know when
to uncouple myself and when to
double back. I do not miss you,
ali nedostajao si mi 

Grammar comes slower yet and
forces us into the perpetual
present. There is always someone
missing and we can never be
sure who did what to whom since
I conjugate poorly and without
regard to grammatical gender 

in any case, we do not burden
ourselves with syntax. There is too
much history to get lost in semantics
and we are more interested in
the little things: gdje si, šta radiš,
je si ti gladna? Hajde, hoćes ti kafu?
Drago mi je što si došla

Glossary/pronunciation

Note: Bosnian is written such that every letter is said. It is difficult to render this for English speakers, particularly for words like ‘drvo’ and ‘gdje’.

Trešnja (tresh-nya): cherry

jabuka (yah-bu-kah): apple

mlijeko (mli-jeh-koh): milk

hljeb (hlyeb): bread

nisam gladna (knee-sahm glahd-na): I’m not hungry (feminine)

samo malo još (sah-moh ma-loh yosh): just a little more

dolazimo (doh-lah-zi-moh): we’re coming

idemo (i-deh-moh): we’re going/leaving

hajmo mi (high-moh mi): let’s go

moja ćerka je došla (moya cher-kah ye dosh-lah): my daughter has come

stol (stohl): table

drvo (drvoh): wood/tree

list (list): leaf

cvijet (svi-yet): flower

nebo (neh-boh): sky

naše selo (na-sheh sell-oh): our village

ali hladno je (ah-li hlad-noh ye): but it’s cold

ali nedostajao si mi (ah-li neh-doh-sta-yao si mi): but I miss you (lit: you are missing to me)

gdje si (gdye si, often spoken as ‘jessi’): where are you (common greeting in Bosnian)

šta radiš (stah rah-dish): what are you doing?/what are you up to?

je si ti gladna? (yeh si ti glahd-nah): are you hungry?

Hajde, hoćes ti kafu (high-deh hoh-chesh tik kah-fu): come on, do you want coffee?

Drago mi je što si došla (drah-goh mi ye si dosh-lah): I’m glad you came

Dženana Vucic is a Bosnian-Australian writer, poet and critic. They have received the 2022 Marten Bequest, the 2022 Peter Blazey Fellowship, and the 2021 Kat Muscat Fellowship to work on an autotheoretical book about their experience as a refugee, the Bosnian war, identity, memory and un/belonging. Their writing has appeared in Sydney Review of Books, Cordite, Overland, Meanjin, Kill Your Darlings, Australian Poetry Journal, the Australian Multilingual Writing Project, Rabbit, and others. 

They tweet at @dzenanabanana