Kaya Lattimore reading ‘dagat’

my first language is water
– dagat
       dripping
                 down
                           my chin
       asin on skin with no
       wound makes no
       sting

i hear my name
for the first time:
       kaya
       kayang-kaya
       kakayanin
       kinaya
some say verb, say
                 kaya mo 'yan

       i sing hymns
                 say a prayer
stay out of the sun
       salt and sweat
                 guzzle tubig
tapak on echoes and ruins

mixed girl talks with
       an accent
       a rusty tongue in
                 the past tense
until malamig na
       ang silence

but the translations
       make no sense
i leave myself
       hanging
pahinga muna sa hangin
walang wika
       save this slanging

every language turns to lupa
       back to langit or
                 kaluluwa

swallow
       down
       each salita
maalat sa dila
i am
       what i speak
and this dagat runs
                                deep

Glossary

dagat: ocean

asin: salt

kaya: to be able

kayang kaya; kakayanin: (as above, but with greater emphasis)

kinaya: past tense of kaya

kaya mo 'yan: you can do it

tubig: water

tapak: to tread, to step on

malamig: cold

pahinga muna sa hangin: rest a bit in the breeze

walang wika: no language

lupa: earth, soil

langit: sky, heaven

kaluluwa: soul

salita: word/s

maalat sa dila: salty on the tongue

Kaya Lattimore is a Filipina-Australian writer and spoken word poet. As a mestiza and immigrant, her writing obsessions include diaspora, family histories, racial identity, and language. She writes to express, explore and reclaim all facets of her identity and lived experience. Kaya's poetry has appeared in The Brown Orient, Cicerone Journal, be:longing, and Not Very Quiet.Read more at her blog or follow her on Facebook